We asked a couple of private investigators who can spot a cheater like it’s their job — because it is — for telltale signs that a woman is cheating on you.
By Robin Hilmantel
Short of walking in on your wife or girlfriend doing unspeakable things with another dude, there’s no foolproof way to know if she’s cheating on you. But there are clues — thing is, you probably don’t notice any of them.
But we know two guys who do — in fact, it’s their job. Between them, Christopher Paoletti, president of Infidelity Investigations LLC, and Tony DeLorenzo, co-author of The 28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse, they have about 45 years of experience hunting down cheaters. So we asked them to tell us what sort of behavior is a tip of that a woman might be cheating on you.
1. She doesn’t want foreplay anymore.
Quickies here and there are great, but if she’s always eager to get started, something is up. After all, few women can really get into sex without foreplay. So a woman who consistently just wants to cut to the chase probably means one thing: “She just wants to get sex over with,” DeLorenzo says. Well … sex with you, anyway.
2. She tells you even more than usual about her day …
If you were cheating, you might be even more vague than usual about your day-to-day schedule. Well, women tend to take the opposite approach: They try to cover up their tracks by sharing even more information than normal. “She’ll tell you lots of details about her day so you won’t wonder what she’s been up to and get suspicious,” Paoletti says. Of course, she’s leaving certain things out.
3. … while rifling through her bag.
When he was working on his second book, Warning Signs, DeLorenzo researched howbody language can tip you off to a cheater. What he found: If she puts her hands in her pockets, touches her face, or pokes around in her purse for something, it’s a dead giveaway that she’s pulling one over on you. “They’re all signs of nervousness,” he says.
4. She stops texting as much.
At first you may not even notice when she starts to lay off the Blackberry — but when you do, it may be time to worry. “Women who text a lot don’t just suddenly stop,” Paoletti explains. The more likely scenario: Her thumbs are still getting plenty of exercise, but not when you’re around since she doesn’t want you to ask who’s on the receiving end of all those texts.
5. You never feel as though she’s nagging you.
A woman who doesn’t mind raised toilet seats and has no issue with prominently displayed Star Wars paraphernalia? Sounds like a keeper. But if those things used to bother her and don’t anymore, it may be because she no longer has any intention of keeping you. “When she stops nagging, it means she doesn’t care about the relationship anymore,” DeLorenzo says. So, uh … enjoy it while it lasts?
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