Desperately worried but determined to support their husbands, the wives of workers at the Fukushima No. 1 nuclear power plant struggle with their emotions as they wait for their husbands to return from work that is endangering their lives.
A woman in her 40s said her husband, also in his 40s, one day bought enough underwear and socks for a week. It was March 19, seven days after they moved to an apartment outside Fukushima Prefecture from their home inside the 20-kilometer evacuation zone from the nuclear plant.
The woman said she instantly realized her husband was going to "that site." They have been married for 20 years, with a son in university and a daughter in high school.
Her husband has often said he is proud of his job, as it "produces electricity essential for people's daily lives." But he rarely talked about his work at home.
One night, as the family ate dinner, her husband said in a detached tone: "I'll go to work tomorrow."
His wife wanted to say, "Do you have to go?" but only replied, "I see." The following morning, she and their daughter saw him off.
The woman told her daughter, "Dad chose to go because of his sense of responsibility toward his job. Now he's working for everyone."
The daughter smiled and replied, "My Dad's great. He's a hero."
A few days later, the husband came home and told her, "I work in a place where radiation levels are high." He soon fell asleep and did not wake up until around noon. The woman said she understood his job was extremely hard.
Relatives criticized her for not trying to stop her husband, but she said thinking about it too much would destroy her nerves.
"It's my job as his wife to believe he's safe and wait for him to come home after work where he's risking his life," she said.
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Unable to speak true feelings
A 61-year-old woman whose husband, 55, runs a subcontractor of a partner company of Tokyo Electric Power Co. said earlier this month, "I wish I could tell him not to go anymore."
Ten days after the quake, while the couple was at a shelter for earthquake victims in Koriyama, Fukushima Prefecture, the husband's cell phone rang.
"I want to do that. Absolutely," he told the person on the other end. It was a call from the partner firm asking him to work at the Fukushima plant.
The woman did not want her husband to go, but remained silent because she understood why he needed to go to the plant.
Her husband has many obligations, including a housing loan, their daughter's tuition at junior college and his employees' livelihoods.
As if trying to erase her anxiety, the woman sent a text message via her cell phone to her husband everyday.
On a day she asked, "Some people were exposed to radiation. Were you one of them?" He replied in his e-mail, "I'm all right."
Even this brief response was a relief, she said.
The husband returned two weeks later. He smiled and said, "I didn't go to any dangerous places" but looked exhausted.
He told her about the details of his work, including that he wore a protective suit against radiation and removed sea water from facilities flooded by tsunami.
Three days later, three of their family went to a hot spring resort. On their way back, they ate food not available in the shelter, such as boiled hijiki seaweed and pumpkin.
"It's been so long," and "These dishes are like home cooking," they said.
That night, the firm called her husband again. The hard days have continued, but the woman said she wants to support her husband no matter what.
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Keeping cell phone close
On April 4, a woman in her 30s saw off her husband as he left a shelter in Inawashiromachi, Fukushima Prefecture, for the nuclear plant.
"Be careful," she told her husband, also in his 30s, and watched until his car was out of sight. It was the third time he had gone to work at the plant since the earthquake.
Their home is in Futabamachi, Fukushima Prefecture, within the 20-kilometer evacuation zone. After the quake the couple and their three primary school-age children evacuated to a shelter outside the area.
Around March 20, her husband went to the plant for the first time to conduct repair work. He returned to the shelter three days later.
He said, "I cleaned vehicles contaminated with radioactive materials outside the premises of the plant."
Soon after, he went to the plant again. The woman wanted to discuss with her husband which schools their children would enroll in and how they would live in the future, but he was not there.
She has refrained from calling him as much as possible, to avoid bothering him at work.
When her husband called, she talked about transferring their children to a school where there would be many of their friends from Futabamachi. They ultimately decided to do so.
He returned a week later, looking extremely tired with bloodshot eyes.
"We stopped working soon because radiation levels were high," he told her. "But I was exposed to higher levels of radiation than before."
This told the woman her husband had worked near the No. 4 reactor, where a fire had opened a hole in the exterior building.
In the past, the woman sometimes did not talk to her husband even after he came home, as she was engrossed in a TV program. Now, her attitude has changed.
Their daughter often asked him to carry her on his back but now only holds her father's hand, as if she knows he is tired.
The woman said she hoped he would not go near the nuclear plant if possible, and that she kept her cell phone close at all times.
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