Rob someone? No, thank you. Get a second job? Nah. Earn money by selling sperm, plasma, or hair? Now we’re talking!
By Zack Zeigler
Another thing you can do? Sell your body. We don’t mean flashing some leg on the street corner, but literally selling your body. From the hair on your head to the plasma running through your veins, it’s time your quit giving your body a free ride. Here’s how to cash in…
Before you grab a pair of shears and go all Edward Scissorhands, make sure your rug is worth something:
* It should be 10 inches or longer.
* Never permed, colored, or bleached.
* Washed only with organic hair products. (Many OTC shampoos contain chemicals like sodium lauryl sulfate that damage hair. Also, the chemicals in cigarettes do as much good for your hair as they do for your lungs and breath.)
How You Cash In: Onlinehairaffair.com is an auction site where you can list your hair, or you can post an ad where all weird stuff has a home — Craigslist.
It’s not as easy as grabbing a nudie mag, shutting the door, and aiming the finished product into a mug. The California Cryobank (CBC) has operations throughout the U.S., and they won’t entertain the possibility of letting you unbuckle your pants if you aren’t:
* 19-38 years old.
* 5’9″ or taller.
* Attending a four-year university or in possession of a bachelor’s or advanced degree.
* A legal resident.
* In solid health.
Outside of the CBC, criteria will vary — but not by much.
How You Cash In: Fill out an online app. If it’s a go, you’ll be called for a consultation. Pass that and you can start spreading your seed and getting paid two to three times per week at $50-$200 per visit. All together, the process will take at least three to six months. And yes, you will be kicked out if you ask the nurse’s aid for a happy ending. (So we’ve heard…)
Plasma is a yellow liquid component of blood that’s packed with proteins. Medical uses include treatment of immune system deficiencies and diseases like rabies, rubella, and hepatitis B. There’s a huge worldwide demand for plasma, and you can contribute to the cause if you’re:
* At least 18 years old.
* Weigh at least 110 pounds.
* Have strong iron levels.
* Free of HIV/AIDS, mad cow disease (seriously), hepatitis, heart disease, diabetes, or tattoos in the past 12 months.
Every 56 days you can donate whole blood, according to the Red Cross, but donate means you’ll get zero dollars. And while you can help save lives — every two seconds someone in the U.S. needs blood — you certainly can’t buy an iPad with a blood bank receipt.
How You Cash In: Do a Web search for a plasma donation center. Go there, bring a government issued ID, proof of residence, and a social security card. They’ll hammer you with medical questions and an exam, and extract the plasma. All together, including the donation, your first trip will take about two hours.
Experimental procedure sounds scary, but you won’t turn into Frankenstein if you take this route. A reporter for MSN documented her journey as a test subject, and the process was simple. The hospital wanted 30 milliliters of her blood; they told her why they wanted it, and gave her a bunch of paperwork to fill out. Fifteen minutes later she was out the door with $35 bucks in her purse. Easy.
How You Cash In: Info should be available at your local hospital, college/university, and on Craigslist (that’s where the reporter saw it). It’s not steady work, so the amount you take home will vary. Of course, if you’re not careful you can get roped into being a guinea pig who’s forced to pop “super awesome pills” like they’re popcorn. Request specifics as to what’s expected of you. If they aren’t willing to supply that, head for the hills.
People were baffled when Mike Tyson got his face inked with tribal scribble … until they saw the junked-up condition of Tyson’s old mansion and remembered he’s a maniac.
And he’s not the only one. Online gaming outfit GoldenPalace.com became famous for its “Human Billboard’ campaign back in the mid-2000s. Emotionally damaged mental patients People from around the country jumped at the chance to earn decent chunks of cash to have the company’s name or logo permanently branded on their body. The woman in the photo got $10,000 for that masterpiece. Another lady received $18,000 to tattoo the Golden Place URL across her chest. Some even settled for as low as a few hundred or an even thousand.
How You Cash In: Simply walk into area businesses and offer up your services. Then run before the cops they call can arrive.
It’s illegal to sell body parts on the open market in the United States, but that doesn’t mean some insanely desperate and disgusting people haven’t tried. In 1999, a dude put up his “fully functional kidney” on eBay; before the auction was yanked by site admins, the bidding price reached $5,750,100.
How You Cash In: It’s a little trickier than scalping a concert ticket; but a good start would be stops in Israel, South Africa, or Turkey. In 2010, police nabbed bag guys in all three spots for organ-trafficking. If you get there and it works, we suggest requesting they throw in for air fare, which will run you at least a few grand roundtrip.
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